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Update on the Quest
Wednesday, 17 May 2006
Quest takes to the Road
Mood:  smelly
Now Playing: Not saying, but it ain't good
Greetings ya'll. Not much time. Gotta pack. Drafted a plan to find Dave and baby, there ain't no exit strategy even considered in my plan. No half-assed here...... it's full assed.

Allow me to let you in on my plan. Normally, I intentionally start each day with no plan so it is sort of odd that I have one for this mission. Sure, there is the wiz, eat, sleep part that is just guna happen, but everything else is as the day goes. The metaphor I like to use is, the plane is taking off, I am still putting parts on it, but the ride is going to be fun so long as I don't crash along the way (which rarely happens. Trust me, it works. My life has been like a fuckin movie) Anyway, back to the plan. Here it is, full proof like I said.

Phase One: Attend Ninja Camp
Phase Two: Recruit Freddie Prince Jr., Macho Man Randy Savage, Al Franken, and Shakira (simply for eye candy purposes) to become my Legion of Funk.
Phase Three: Begin road trip with the Legion of Funk in search of Dave. (Guaranteed to include some zany antics)
Phase Four: Deploy the "Ultimate Solution" (Note the quotes. Please read again and make the following sound for effect:dun-dun-daaaa)
Phase Five: Top Secret

Check back often. The train has left the station. I must go before the NSA finds out about what I amffadadfasfasfasfafsadssssfhsjhfaoshsoafhaofhoh

(From the NSA: Ski has stepped away from his computer for awhile. While we have your attention, we would like to tell you that we entered your computer while you were reading this and know everything about you to include that porn you downloaded last tuesday. Trust us, we can and have. What? Why are you shaking your head while reading this. Don't you watch the news that we control. Just forget you ever read this page and no one gets hurt. You can trust us, we're your government)

Posted by questfordave at 6:52 PM CDT
Saturday, 24 December 2005
Mondovi Livin/Dave Spottin
Now Playing: Mariah Carry-All I want for Chistmas
Greeting Ya'll. Just got an update from someone who actually talks to Dave better sit down for this...has seen Dave during the Merry month of May.

He still is alive, but now prefers to be called Lord Herfel. Evidently, he is buying a duplex and is managing a local Country Kitchen. (Ah, says your's truely as the smoke from my freshly lit cigar wafts through the air, very intersting.)

Posted by questfordave at 8:16 PM CST
Tuesday, 20 December 2005
Mood:  irritated
Greetings all. Have been sort of busy with alot of things. Nothing really new to report on the quest. Called the only know number we have for Dave. He has changed his voice message.

Some reports have been recieved that Dave has become a dark person. Not sure what to make of it.

Had a brief strategy session with one of the Confederates of the Quest. Below is a synopsis of the minutes of the meeting:

The idea was thrown out that perhaps Dave is held hostage and has been brainwashed.

The comment was made that we needed to get our hands on some flashbangs in the event we had to liberate him. Agreed we may have to use some of our knowledge of "the dark arts" to accomplish said mission.

Long discussion about how we would get out hands on flashbangs. We (by We I mean I) determined that I would not use my military connections to get the flashbangs that the Confederate wanted.

Discussed other ways to get flashbangs. Brought up that flashbangs are used by Ninjas and the suggestion was made we should try and find a Ninja magazine to order some. Neither I or the Confederate can remember the last time we saw the Ninja Magazine, and were unsure if it was still in circulation, but agreed we had saw it on the newstands back in the 80's. Decision was made to find a Ninja Magazine.

Meeting concluded so we would watch the Packers game, during which, the Scratch and Sniff was invented as a way to celebrate a touchdown without having people jump on you. (Don't ask)

Posted by questfordave at 3:09 PM CST
Thursday, 1 December 2005
12 Days of Dave
Mood:  sharp
Have been tracking down people who knew Dave back in the day and have asked for some pity little stories about the guy. This, the "12 Days of Dave" will be a compelation of stories that they shared with me. Havn't seen some of them for many years. Was a very nice experience.

Posted by questfordave at 9:00 PM CST
Update on the Search
Mood:  special
Now Playing: In my Head: Johnny Cash - Delia
Stopped in at the McDonald's in Appleton and asked the good folks behind the counter if they saw Dave recently. They gave me a odd look, so I took that as a no.

Posted by questfordave at 8:56 PM CST
Monday, 14 November 2005
Missed Opportunity
Mood:  accident prone
Discovered a couple things over the weekend pertaining to finding Dave.

A couple of months ago, I hypothesized that Dave would be attending a Scrabble competition at Wisconsin Dells in October. Tracking shows he always attends this competition. I spoke with a confederate of the Quest about setting up a ambush. He talked me out of it. It turns out Dave actually attended the competition. Drat.

I discovered this weekend that Dave changed the message on his answering machine. Sure, you at home are saying to yourself, "He has Dave's phone number yet he goes through all this effort and developed a website. Why doesn't he just call?". It seems no one answers their phone anymore. Really, it's true. The only people I know that answer their phones personally are my Grandmother and Ma Skarich.

Anyway, got deer hunting and thanks giving coming up so I won't have time to work on the Quest. Perhaps in December we'll try picking up a new sent.

Posted by questfordave at 9:35 AM CST
Wednesday, 9 November 2005
Psychic's and Mom's
Went looking for a psychic, on the internet, who would help find Dave. The CIA used psychic's during the Cold War to keep track of the Russians. Thought we could use one for our website. Couldn't find one who worked for free.

Dave's Mom has not emailed back. Got the feeling she probably won't be writing us any time soon.

1000 shorts not taken are 1000 shots not scored.

Posted by questfordave at 6:34 PM CST
Saturday, 5 November 2005
Ma Herfel
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: In my Head: Stacey's Mom has got it Going On
Found Dave's mom's email address. A little bit about Dave's Mom. She is one of those uber moms. She was the mom that baked cookies on cold wisconsin nights and let Dave's friends have a few (Thanks Ma Herfel). She was also the Mom who catered the New Years Eve parties at the Herfel house. Even though it was non-alcoholic, it was always well attended as I remember. She would have melted carmel with apple slices and other assorted finger food. Really wholesome sort of thing. She was the only person I knew who held Scrabble parties at their house. She had a creepy picture of their cat in the living room as I recall. I memory serves me, the cats name was something like Otto and it was not a very friendly cat. I think Otto is dead now, but don't quote me on that.

As far as I can tell, Dave's mom is still making the world a better place than she found it. She evidently helps with preserving small towm libraries and runs marathons. I am sure she is doing other good things, but that is all the internet is telling me.

Anyway, enough walking down memory lane. The point is, I emailed her asking for a story or two about Dave. Thought I should actually do something serious about this quest for Dave other than mock and make fun of something that I started (which means that I am picking on myself. What a mean spirited B@stard I have become). Sooo, to date she had not written back. Will let you know if she does write.

Posted by questfordave at 8:24 PM CST
Thursday, 3 November 2005
News about Dave so hot it could melt the fat off an Iowan farmer:
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: In my Head: Getto Superstar
Recently harvested intelligence has uncovered that Dave is possibly a member of a cult like scrabble club operating in the Twin Cities sector. We are unsure what their command and control structure consists of or their end state goal, but we are working under the premise that it is diabolical and spits in the eye of lady liberty (Come on, who really plays Scrabble. Spell check has already been invented. What are they really doing?)

Regarding Dave’s role within this cult, we are not sure at this time if Dave is considered a Deity among the cult members, or just been caught in the “Scrabble” lifestyle of free flowing booze, hookers, and fast cars.

We have contracted with a crack team of analyists who operate somewhere off the shores of the Ukraine to investigate this data to confirm its authenticity and relevance. You are free to inspect it at As you will find, Dave is ranked #2 in Division four and among the Bingo leaders (whatever that means. we think this is all code).

Division 4:

1. Megan O'Connell 9-3 +514
2. David Herfel 8-4 +493
3. Victor Etienne 8-4 +476
4. Andy Bohnsack 8-4 +420

Bingo Leaders:

Division 1 -- Steve Pellinen (27)
Division 2 -- Patrick Suglia and Dan Casey (18)
Division 3 -- Steve Bachman (20)
Division 4 -- Dave Herfel (24)
Division 5 -- Paul Kyllonen (18)

Posted by questfordave at 6:11 PM CST
Wednesday, 2 November 2005
The To Do List
1. Make a list (done)
2. Get a map of the United States
3. Get some of those stick pins to put in the map to track siteings of Dave
4. Contact a psychic and see if he/she can find out where Dave is.
5. Get duct tape (not sure if it will be needed, but one can never have enough duct tape)
6. Get a stetch artist to draw one of those neat renderings of Dave if he was 40 years old, or wearing a hoodey and sunglasses, or grew a mustache.
7. If we can't find a sketch artist, call or drive over to his Mom's house and get a recent photo.
8. Buy a case of beer and some smokes and put it in an open field and see if this will bait Dave out of hiding.
9. Check post office and see if Dave's picture is hanging up anywhere.
10. Make sure psychic and artist will work for free, we're working under a tight budget here.
11. Come up with really cool code names for everyone.

Posted by questfordave at 7:08 PM CST

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